Travel Woes
by captainbartholomew
Summary: Of all the things Seth Rollins hated, he hated traveling with the Tag Team Champions the most. Cracky. Oneshot.


_**Title: Travel Woes**_

 _ **Author: captainbartholomew**_

 _ **Disclaimer: I don't own WWE for a variety of reasons because if I did I would wreak havoc on the Creative Department with my antics.**_

 _ **Summary: Of all the things Seth Rollins hated, he hated traveling with the Tag Team Champions the most. Cracky. Oneshot.**_

 _ **Blame/Fault: So, this deserves an explanation... Well, caylendar has this absurd obsession with having her and I wear matching wrestling T-shirts. To fulfill her desires, she bought us matching New Day t-shirts (the ones with the unicorn on…). That woman has an unnatural obsession with New Day, but hey if you don't like them you probably are Scrooge McDuck (who doesn't enjoy their antics? Trombones, unicorns, insanely witty chants, pretty crazy, I bow down to the writer who came up with these ideas). As repayment for the shirt, caylendar requested a New Day fic. So I delivered…**_

(XXXX)

Of all the things Seth Rollins had to do since turning on The Shield and winning the WWE World Heavyweight Title, this was the thing he hated the most. He didn't hate the constant attacks from Dean Ambrose and Roman Reigns or any other wrestler corporate could find to throw at him to face off for the title. He didn't hate the fact some of the fans wanted him dead and were now beginning to send him death threats in the mail. And he certainly did not hate the fact his fangirls were starting to round on him for not bleaching part of his hair blonde again. He could care less as they shouted at him on his social media channels writing #BringBacktheBlonde. No, he didn't hate all these things as much as he hated this specific thing or rather this specific trio of people.

"NEW DAY ROCKS!" the three burly wrestlers chanted together as they continued to load up the rented SUV getting ready to head to the next venue WWE was headed to. Seth silently rolled his bag over to the vehicle with an annoyed look on his face. When Triple H had told Seth to grow as a champion, he didn't think the older man meant babysitting the New Day by any means.

"Champions help others grow to become better. Think of it as mentoring. You'll be mentoring the New Day in a way," Hunter had chided him one evening as they were finishing up the show. Seth snorted at the memory; these morons were so beyond his help it wasn't even funny. The young champion had been forced to ride with the trio to every venue since Hunter had told him to mentor the young men. And every trip Seth had taken with the New Day since then kept getting weirder. They talked about the Power of Positivity and Unicorn Magic a lot. The young champion thought it was unnatural for three grown men in their late twenties to early thirties have an obsession with unicorns. Seth was pretty sure at one point Big E had even blown magic unicorn dust at him to encourage him to stop being a sour puss.

Sure, Seth wasn't really the lovable guy he once was back in the days of NXT or during his run with the Shield, but was he really that much of a Negative Nelly and needed more positivity in his life?

Yep! The New Day certainly thought so!

With Seth riding with them now, New Day vowed to turn his permanent frown upside down. He'd be the most positive champion with their help, they had told him. Then the stuff with the unicorn happened and things started getting strange. Or maybe they were just strange before and Seth hadn't realized they were out of the ordinary? Whatever, the New Day was insane, but if he was going to impress Hunter and Stephanie, he had to do this as much as he hated it. So, Seth gritted his teeth together shoving his bags into the back of the SUV.

"Guys, the Captain is here!" shouted an overjoyed and ambitious Xavier Woods. Was Xavier ever not happy? Seth pondered to himself as he muttered a quiet greeting to the tag team trio.

"Captain!" called Kofi Kingston and Big E Langston in unison from the driver and passenger seats of the vehicle, they must have entered it when Seth wasn't looking and Xavier was going on about his unnatural love for Hot Pockets. Why Xavier had this odd obsession with the pizza sized on the go bagel item, Seth really didn't understand. Who was he to question what Xavier ate in his free time? Boy, these guys were odd ducks.

As Seth and Xavier clambered into the back seats of the SUV, the later pulled out his IPad and pulled something up for everyone to look at including Seth. Why he was included in this little powwow session was beyond him, usually he would hook himself into his phone, pull on some headphones, and listen to pounding death metal to tune out talk about trombones, unicorns, glitter, and positivity.

"Gentlemen," Xavier announced as Big E pulled out of the parking lot heading to the next venue, "It has come to corporates attention it is time for us to rebrand the New Day merchandise to fit our current image and tagline. So, Intern Eve sent over some samples of merchandise for us to look at. Captain, since you are such a fine marketing mastermind, would you mind helping us?"

Seth blinked in confusion. Where Xavier had gotten this idea he, of all people, was a marketing mastermind was beyond him? But why not help the New Day out, he remembered when him, Roman, and Dean would look at these mockups together and pick the most ludicrous ones to have their logos put on during their days as the Shield. Sometimes he just felt like putting logos and designs on obscure merchandise just to screw with his fans. His personal favorite example of this was when The Shield had decided it was a good idea to approve putting the Hounds of Justice logo on women's Ugg boots. The Roman, Dean, and Seth had laughed every time some young lady came to a meet and greet with those stupid things on.

"So Cap, what you think?" questioned Xavier as he drew Seth's attention to one of the mock-up designs of the new New Day t-shirt. Seth stared at the design blinking in utter confusion and disbelief.

"What the…" Seth trailed off as he stared at the graphic artist's rendition of Kofi, Big E, and Xavier riding into battle on a pure white unicorn. The young champion wasn't exactly sure what he was staring at.

"It needs something," answered Kofi as he absentmindedly scratched his goatee, "The unicorn is just too normal. New Day isn't normal!"

"Very true," rumbled Big E from the front seat as he kept his eyes on the road while navigating the rental car carefully on the highway, "What about if we give him tennis shoes?"

"How do you know it's a boy unicorn?" questioned an annoyed Xavier, "She could be a lady, you don't know!"

"Unicorns are normally a lady," Kofi interjected his two teammates as if he was an all knowing unicorn expert, "But I feel like this one is a boy. We will call him Stan the Unicorn Man! With Stan's unicorn magic, he will help us succeed in continuing to be the most positive and dominant tag team in the WWE!"

Seth rubbed his fingers to his temples on his forehead. He was trying to massage the crazy out that was beginning to seep into his body thanks to the New Day. However, before he could get the insanity out of his system he uttered something he would regret later down the line.

"Why don't you add a fish tail instead of a regular horse tail onto his behind, give him buck teeth, and cover his eyes with sunglasses? This way no one will be able to know if Stan is a boy or a girl except you three!" Seth slapped his hand over his mouth immediately realizing what he had just said.

The crazy had finally got to him. All these trips with the Tag Team Champions had finally caused him to snap. Plus the creepy smiles New Day were now giving him made him want to just travel alone from now on, no matter what Hunter wanted him to do. Slowly, Seth inched away and further into his own corner of the SUV attempting to get as far away from them as possible without falling out onto the road.

"THAT'S BRILLANT, SETH!" cried Xavier in exasperation.

"BRILLANT!" echoed Kofi with enthusiasm.

"BRILLANT!" shouted Big E with excitement.

"BRILLANT!" they chorused together in unison eagerly.

"I'll e-mail Intern Eve and let her know to have the Graphic Designer make these edits," Xavier answered as he quickly began to type out a reply e-mail on his IPad to the young intern, "The fans are going to love how crazy and zany this shirt will be. And it is all thanks to you, Captain Rollins!"

"Three cheers for the Captain?" suggested Big E from the driver's seat of the vehicle. Kofi and Xavier nodded about to begin another round of cheering. Seth was pretty sure Xavier had somehow managed to rummage around in the trunk to find his trombone case and was going to pull it out to begin playing too.

Seth looked heavenward shaking his head in frustration and sliding further down in the backseat of the rented SUV not wanting anyone from the outside world to see him or to be a part of this road trip anymore. What insanity had he just released onto the unknowing and innocent world outside?

(XXXX)

Several weeks had passed since the Stan the Unicorn Man t-shirt diabolical with the New Day. Seth had sustained hurt his knee and was now on the ever growing list of injured superstars. Sure, everyone had faith that he would return to reclaim his title easily, but getting from Point A to Point B was going to be tough especially with how serve his knee injuries were. The only solace in this whole situation was the fact he no longer had travel with the terrifyingly insane trio better known as the New Day. The former champion sighed as he began to once again overthink his current injury situation from his couch in his Iowan abode.

The doorbell rang breaking him from his thoughts as he grabbed his crutches and slowly limped to the front door to find a box sitting there. He must have taken too long to get the door on his crutches as he hopped along seeing the person who had rang the doorbell was no longer present. Seth reached down for the box on the front porch figuring it was another get well package from some family member in another state. With a shrug of his shoulders, he picked up the box and limped back to his couch.

As the couch cushions once again claimed him as one of their own, he began to pry the box open. All of a sudden a bottle of glitter came rolling out onto his coffee table and a blue t-shirt slide out as well. Seth raised his eyebrows in surprise and worry. One of his fangirls was probably thinking glitter would magically fix his injuries… whelp, he had news for her. Before Seth could start cussing out this girl, a card in a blue envelope with a unicorn sticker on it fell out of the package.

Carefully, Seth picked up the envelope and opened it to find a card inside. On the front of the card was the same unicorn sticker that was on the envelope. With caution, Seth opened it to find a message written in a quick scrawl on the inside.

 _Captain Rollins (AKA THE MAN)!_

 _We are sending all our unicorn magic (AKA THE GLITTER) and positive energy your way as you begin your journey down the magical Rainbow Road to Recovery. On this road, you will face many obstacles such as dark unicorns, evil Gumdrop munchkins, and other horrifying things that could go bump in the night. But remember with positive vibrations from the right musical instrument… hopefully a trombone… and the POWER OF POSITIVITY you will be able to conquer anything and everything!_

 _Sincerely your BEST friends NOW and FOREVER,_

 _THE NEW DAY!_

 _PS: Enjoy our new shirt… compliments to you for helping us figure it out!_

Seth blinked at the card and then gently unfolded the shirt. He blinked repeatedly at the crazed piece of merchandise before realizing if he stared at it any longer, he was probably going to lose what little sanity he had left. But before throwing it aside, he had to admit it was probably one of the best wrestling shirts he had seen in a long time. He wondered if a unicorn could throw up would this be what people would see. Rainbows, fish tails, buck teeth, sunglasses, Mohawks, and trombones. Immediately, Seth realized he was trying to put logic behind the t-shirt which he knew he shouldn't have been attempting.

Damn, the New Day and their insanity.

The End

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 _ ***a/n i: What the heck did I just write?!**_

 _ **Reviewers are the wrestler of your choice bringing you a piece of pumpkin pie! Thanks for reading! Oh and for those who celebrate, Happy Thanksgiving! :)**_


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